My Little Bs Have the Big C

A Breast Cancer Blog For Young Women

Discovering the Lump

3 Comments

Since I knew breast cancer runs in my family, I always intended to get my first mammogram when I turned 35.  But soon after my 35th birthday I became pregnant with my son, Oliver.  After he was born, we had a lot of difficulty with nursing but I was insistent and persistent.  We nursed for 17 months, ending our daily nourishing and nurturing rituals on Memorial Day weekend.  Since you can’t get a mammogram while breastfeeding and 6 months post weaning, I hadn’t planned on getting checked until the late fall.

One day I was examining my newly deflated and less firm breasts (feeling myself up, basically) and I felt it.  I knew it wasn’t normal but I compared what I felt to my other breast.  It was without a doubt a lump.  I had my husband feel it, because I think he knows my breasts better than I do, and he agreed.  It didn’t feel right.  I waited two weeks, assuming it was breastfeeding related, hoping it would go away.  When it didn’t, I made and appointment with my ob/gyn.

When my doctor examined me, I saw her eyes widen.  “Is this what you were feeling?”  “Yes,” I said.  “Ya, I feel that too.  We should check it out.  But it’s probably nothing.”  But her face was saying something different.  

One week later, I was in the office of a breast surgeon.  He took one look at the sonograms and did 4 biopsies on the spot; 2 core needle biopsies of the lump and one fine needle aspiration of the lump and one of the lymph node.  Then he asked me if I had time to stay for a mammogram and I said, “yes.”  He made a call and it was set up.  He said that he would have the results of the mammogram and the lymph node biopsy the next day “just in time to ruin my weekend.”  Aka…you have cancer!!!!!!!!!  He walked me down to my mammogram while I cried hysterically.

The next day we met in the doctor’s office.  “Well, it is cancer.  Blah, blah, blah, blah.”  I didn’t hear too much after that although he seemed to have my whole treatment planned out (more on that another time).  

This was two weeks ago.  I have since met with a new surgeon at NYU, had an MRI, PET scan, met the oncologist, the plastic surgeon and scheduled my mastectomy.  September 5th.  

When you get cancer time stands still.  Then it goes super speed.  It’s non stop.  I guess that’s good.  I want the cancer out.  But I want to hold on to time a bit, before life changes completely.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Discovering the Lump

  1. Pingback: When I Think About You I Touch Myself | My Little Bs Have the Big C

  2. Pingback: Enjoy The Rest Of Summer | My Little Bs Have the Big C

  3. Ugh! I remember how dark those days were for me. I checked my breasts because of some weird dreams I had and because I was feeling really depressed that summer, for some reason. I just felt something wasn’t right! One evening, while sitting on a racking chair, I felt my right breast and felt the lump. Called GYN that Sat. and left vmail. Was in her office on Tuesday. Sonogram on Wed. Then went away for the holidays (Christmas). Came back to get a biopsy done. Next day, I got results it was IDC. Got mmamo and MRI done. I had to show the lump to everyone because no one could feel it except me.

    The beginning of the cancer mess is just horrible. Not knowing how bad the cancer is or if you would survive at all. Finding out we need the chemo and the radiation. All of it sucks. Then comes survivorship — a different type of mess. But I am happy we are both here to tell our stories. xoxo

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