My Little Bs Have the Big C

A Breast Cancer Blog For Young Women

Mommy Mondays

4 Comments

The day after Oliver was born.

The day after Oliver was born.

Something else I’d like to focus on in this blog is another unique issue many young women with breast cancer might be facing; living with breast cancer and motherhood.  Maybe you are a mother already.  Maybe you have been thinking of starting a family.  Maybe you are like a mother to someone else’s child.  It doesn’t matter.  We need to figure out how we are going to live with this diagnosis, go through treatment and live beyond this while still parenting.

When I found out two weeks ago that I had breast cancer, my first thoughts went to my son.  Will I be alive long enough to see him go to kindergarten, college, get married, have his own children?  Will I die soon and will he remember me if I do?  How will this diagnosis affect his life?  More than worrying about myself, I worried for him.

The first week of my diagnosis I could barely get out of bed.  Every time I looked at Oliver, I cried for his potential loss and the fear he was going to feel.  I cried because everyone said that he would be taking care of me and lifting my spirits during this journey.  But that’s not his job.  He’s a baby.  He’s my baby and I want to take care of him when he’s hurt, sick, or sad.  Not the other way around.  More than anything, this has been the hardest part for me.

I don’t know what everyone else’s experience has been but I can imagine that many mothers have thought and gone through the same thing.  When you were diagnosed, what were your biggest fears?  How did you handle it and still give your child the attention and love they need?

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Mommy Mondays

  1. Horrible subject, but great blog, Carrie! I have a friend your age who just went through this horrible journey. LMK if you want me to connect you with her. BTW, I have a feeling you are going to look super cool without hair!

  2. I would love to be connected to anyone who has been through this. I’d love to hear about her journey.
    I don’t know about looking cool without hair. I’m super nervous about that part. Are you doing wigs?

  3. I am a friend of Jen’s and I had breast cancer 4 years ago. I remember going to a bar (because…cancer) after the diagnosis and saying “I’m scared,” and my husband was all like, “What specifically are you scared of? Losing your hair? The surgery?” and I looked at him like he had horns and said, “DYING, STUPID.” He laughed and said, “Oh, you’re not going to die. Nobody dies of breast cancer any more.” That’s patently untrue, of course, but it is a fact that most women live through it. Have hope and be kind to yourself. In a year or so, it will all seem like a bad dream.

    • Hi Jane. I’m so glad to hear you are doing well and that breast cancer is now just a memory for you. I look forward to that day for sure! I went through a whole “I’m afraid of dying” phase before I knew my complete diagnosis. It was terrifying. I actually convinced myself that it had spread to my ovaries and that my cancer was terminal. Thank goodness I was wrong.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s