My Little Bs Have the Big C

A Breast Cancer Blog For Young Women

The Fall Harvest


fresh eggsFor the last two weeks, I have been injecting myself with hormones every morning and night in an effort to harvest and freeze my eggs.  It’s taken a long time, longer than expected for the eggs to mature but they are finally ready.

Yesterday I gave myself the trigger shot (I guess that triggers the eggs to do their thing).  It was the freakiest thing I have ever done.  If you know me, you know that I am terrified of needles so giving myself these shots has been very hard for me but I’ve overcome a fear (mostly).  I have been giving myself the injections in my belly with a half inch needle and it hasn’t been bad.

But this last shot, the last one, just as I was getting good at doing these was an injection in my arm with a one inch needle.  Now, if you look at a ruler, and inch doesn’t look so big.  But if you look at it in needle form and know that you must push it into the muscles in your arm, it looks as if it might as well be a full foot long.

I was sweating.  A lot.  I gave myself several speeches.  “I am a WOMAN!  I am FIERCE!  This will only be a blip in time.  This is nothing.  I am strong.  I am stronger that this needle!”  And so on.  For about 10 minutes as Ken stood there pinching the flesh of my arm and re-wiping my arm with alcohol about 5 times.  I had many false starts.

But finally, finally I did it.  I’ll say it again.  I DID IT!!!!!!!!  And you know what?  It didn’t hurt at all.  Classic.

So, tomorrow morning I’m getting up, going to the fertility clinic and harvesting my eggs, just in time for the fall harvest.  I’m sad to say that this seasons harvest is not bountiful.  They only expect to get 4-6 eggs (10 would be nice).  But what I can tell you for sure, what I lack in quantity, I make up for in quality.  Just look at what I did with the last egg I used!

Oliver, one day after harvesting.

Oliver, one day after harvesting.

8 thoughts on “The Fall Harvest

  1. Beautiful! What an amazing outlook you have Carrie.

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  3. I am so glad you harvested your eggs. We were both very lucky to do it.

    My feelings about the eggs have slightly changed, which I will soon write about. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy I did it – better to have the option than not, of course.

    I am scared of needles too! And I too had a hard time with the last shot, haha! I remember using alcohol over and over because I took too long in between the “tries.” That’s so funny. This entire process was hard for me, especially emotionally. I was all over the place: cried in public, got angry in public. You and I probably used the same Dr. at NYU, because that’s where I decided to go.

    Your baby Oliver looks so peaceful and beautiful in this picture. You are right, quality is better than quantity.

    • Rebecca, that trigger shot was scary! I had the same experience where I had to use, like, 5 alcohol swabs because I was so darn scared. It turns out it didn’t hurt a bit! Until the next day. I actually didn’t get treated at NYU for the fertility treatments. I went through Livestrong and the process ended up being completely covered. It was amazing. I just hate to waste those eggs. I just hate it.

      • Livestrong covered my drugs only. I had to pay for the procedure out of pocket. Insurance didn’t cover it. Glad yours was fully covered! I didn’t know this was even possible.

        It’s a good thing to have those eggs. I know what you mean about wasting them though, especially after all the money I paid and still paying (storage).

      • It’s because of the particular clinic I went to, the Sher Foundation. They were amazing. For other clinics, I would have had to pay up to $5000 plus storage. At some point, Ken and I will have to decide if we want to pay for storage. That will be a tough conversation.

      • The good thing is that you have no genetic mutation so if you ever wanted to try to have another baby, you wouldn’t have to worry about that being an issue. Also, this procedure didn’t cost anything so that allows for more flexibility when deciding what to do. I personally like to have options available to me. Having a mutation forces me to keep my eggs, not just the cost associated with it.

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