When the alarm went off this morning, I could hear the rain pouring down on the pavement outside. It was 7:15 and it was still dark and there was thunder in the background. It was exactly the kind of morning where you would rather do anything than get out from under the covers. But today I had a job. One that I was excited and terrified about and I needed get myself ready.
For the first time, I was going to facilitating a theatre workshop with a group of college students. And they aren’t just any college students. They are artists/scholars. The professor, a wonderful woman full of knowledge and creativity, had high expectations for her students. She brings in artists, who are leaders in their field, into her class throughout the year to teach and mentor her students. To say that I was intimidated by this residency would be putting it lightly. But I have been wanting to challenge myself lately instead of doing the same old thing and,this was the job that would give me that satisfaction.
When I took this job offer, I already knew that I had cancer and that I would be undergoing chemotherapy during this time. It was a huge risk for me to take because I didn’t know how I would feel mentally and physically. Thankfully, I have been feeling well enough to work but I was nervous nonetheless. I had a lot to live up to.
After my session today, I received the biggest compliment. The professor, with her wonderfulness and high expectations told me that my workshop was the best she has encountered in her class. She was blown away by what her students accomplished in just and hour and a half.
I am not writing about this because I want to gloat. I’m writing about this because I am so insanely relieved. I’m relieved that despite my illness, I am still good at my job and that I can move beyond the physical and mental limitations and challenge myself to try new things. To be better and succeed.
I am so glad I got out of bed on this yucky, yucky day. It was so worth it.