What? Pardon? Is this the title of an Onion article? I’m afraid not, friends.
According to Dr. Richard Smith, a doctor, honorary professor and former editor of a British Medical Journal, cancer is the best way to die! Think about it! We have time to say goodbye to our friends and family, fulfill some of our bucket list, and get used to the idea a bit before the big day happens. Forget dying quietly one day in your sleep. That’s for pussies! And think of all the people who would be suddenly shocked and saddened by your death should you die without prior notice! Really, that would be completely selfish. When you have cancer, you give everyone in your life time to come to terms with your eventual loss. And really, isn’t that the thoughtful thing to do?
Dr. Smith thinks it is. He said, the discomfort that comes with cancer can be eased with “love, morphine and whiskey.” That’s a quote!!!!!!! Dr. Smith, I’m more of a love, Malbec, dark chocolate with caramel girl. That’s how I numb my pain.
In all seriousness, a doctor, a man of medicine actually wrote this perspective on a blog. He was mostly referring to older patients but failed to consider all of the young people who suffer and die from the disease. But I don’t care if you’re old or young. Cancer sucks and dying from cancer is a shitty way to go. You get time to agonize over how painful your death might be, how undignified and vulnerable. That trip to Nepal you wanted to take? What if you don’t have the strength? You get to spend your last days remembering what you never accomplished in your life. And saying goodbye? Imagine saying goodbye for years and years, waiting for the final day to come. You think anyone is really, truly ready?
This point of view is offensive and ignorant. If someone feels that cancer is the best way to die, they haven’t had cancer!
Read the article about Dr. Richard Smith here.
And actual Onion article about cancer.