I don’t want to jinx it. The last time I said I was on the mend, I was in the hospital the next day. So I’m not going to say that I’m better or on the mend. I’m not going to say that I’m feeling good and as close to normal as I’ve felt in a really long time. I’m not going to say that I have a good amount of energy and am able to work with confidence. I will not say any of those things. I’m not going to say that because I know that my hemoglobin is beginning to dip again (I made a huge lentil soup that I’ve been chowing down on to bring my iron levels up) and my white blood cells are holding steady because I’ve been injecting MYSELF with Neupogen three times a week. It’s a delicate balance in my little body.
But here is what I will say. For the first time since I’ve been diagnosed, I worked out. I don’t know what came over me but I turned to Ken last night and said, “I think I want to do a workout video. I don’t want to push myself too hard but I want to move.” So once we put Oliver to bed, Ken had already moved the coffee table out of the way and set up the video. For the next 20 minutes I did Gillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.
I’m proud to say I completed the video. It was challenging, for sure. I can’t get as much oxygen as normal but I only had to pause for very short periods to catch my breath. It’s also obvious that I haven’t worked out in a long time because I didn’t have as much endurance with the strength exercises. But it’s a start. I’m very proud of myself. But I won’t say that out loud. I don’t want the universe to know. I don’t want to jinx it.