My Little Bs Have the Big C

A Breast Cancer Blog For Young Women


Bits of Happiness #34

Yesterday there was a huge rain storm here in Brooklyn.  The rain was pounding down in sheets…my favorite kind of rain.  The only thing that was missing was the thunder and lightening, which I also love.

But after the storm, the sun started to set.  All was calm outside.  Then Ken said that it was perfect conditions for a rainbow.  “No way,” I said!  “The sun is too low.”  But I was wrong. I went outside to double check and what I saw was a double rainbow.  It was strong, bright and huge!  It was pure magic.  My iPhone did not do it justice.



Bits Of Happiness #33

Today was one of those magical days when everything is just perfect.  I love days like today because I get to feel pure joy again.  I’m in such a rut so much of the time I wonder how I’ll ever dig myself out.  But then there is so much laughter, so much that is new, so much wonder and discovery that I remember what life is all about.

We started the day by leaving our house nice and early to watch Ken run the Brooklyn Half Marathon.  This was his sixth year running and it’s his favorite race.  It starts off in Prospect Park, goes down the beautiful, street lined Ocean Parkway and ends in the iconic Coney Island.  We don’t live far from Ocean Parkway so our first stop to see Ken was there, which was about mile 7.  We made him a special sign which all of the runners loved.  I asked Oliver how fast he thought his daddy was and, in his true subway obsessed style he answered, “Daddy is as fast as a Coney Island bound F express train.  The next stop is Coney Island!  Stand clear of the closing doors, please.  Ding-dong!”

Since the race ends at Coney Island, it’s tradition to get Nathan’s hot dogs when the race is done.  Hot dogs for breakfast?  Yes, please!!!!!!

After eating hot dogs, we went onto the boardwalk to watch some of the race.  They had cheerleaders, stilt walkers and, of course, the amazing view of the rides at Coney Island.

Even thought it was an overcast and chilly day, we made our way off the boardwalk and onto the beach to chase the waves.  They caught us but that’s why we pack a change of clothes, right?

Once we finished chasing the waves, we realized that the amusement parks were starting to open.  Last year Oliver was too afraid to do any of the rides, even the carousel, but this year he ran into the park pointing at all of the rides he wanted to try.  And he tried them all.  I couldn’t believe it!  It was so amazing to watch him experience the thrill of the hills of a rollercoaster, or the whip of the fast turn of a car or the spin of the Tilt-A-Whirl!  He couldn’t stop laughing and smiling.  Neither could I.

As we were going through this day and laughing and loving each other, I thought to myself, “This is why I do what I do.  This is why I go through the constant shit of treatment.  It’s for these days.  These moments.  These memories.”

Today was a wonderful day.


Bits of Happiness #28, #29, #30, #31, #32

I’m super behind on my Bits of Happiness posts.  I have had wonderful things in my life that have brought me joy each week.  I’ve just been too busy with work and life.  So, I’m going to update a few things.  I’m sure I’m missing tons and tons.


Tulips!!! Tulips are my favorite flower and they’re everywhere in Brooklyn  right now.  My son even knows them and loves to point them out whenever he sees them and drags me over to see it.  It’s so sweet.  What a magnificent flower!


Cherry Blossoms!  We missed the Cherry Blossom Festival this year due to the crappy weather but Oliver and I got to visit them together the day before.  We don’t have too many great pictures because it was just the two of us but they were lovely.


Beautiful Brooklyn Streets.  I love walking around my neighborhood and watching the flowers gently fall off the trees and the leaves start to bloom.



Exploring My City With Oliver!  I took Oliver to Battery Park for the first time since he was a little baby.  We had such a great time exploring the wonderful gardens, looking at all of the boats and the fire boat that was spewing red, white and blue water.  It was an overcast day but we had so much fun!


Hidden Playgrounds!  In Battery Park, there’s a hidden playground between two buildings.  It’s called, Teardrop Playground.  It’s right by 22 River Terrace.  And it has the biggest slide ever!  It was magical.



Bits Of Happiness #26

I have a love/hate relationship with NYC these days.  I love it because there’s always something to do, somewhere to go.  It’s hard to get bored here.  I love the arts, the culture, the food and the people.  I hate it because it has become so overcrowded, unaffordable and a series of chain stores where small, gritty, independent shops used to exist.  It’s hard to live in the place where I was born and know that, in many ways, it’s no longer for me.  It’s pushing me away.

But not this weekend.  This weekend was filled with arts and culture for me and my family.  On Saturday, we celebrated my mother’s birthday by taking Oliver to see a wonderful production of Eric Carle’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  I became so emotional as he watched in awe as the actors manipulated the colorful puppets.  I felt so lucky that I am able to expose him  to theatre at such a young age.  Then today, we went to The New York Historical Society’s opening weekend of the Mo Willems exhibit.  If you don’t know Mo Willems, he is a children’s author and illustrator.  He is best known for his books, Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, Knuffle Bunny, and the Elephant and Piggie series.  They now have an exhibition that features his artwork and has a replica of the bus that appears in his book which is FILLED with his books for children to read.  And this weekend, they had art projects out for the children to participate in and they got to meet Elephant and Piggie.

I wasn’t sure if Oliver would like meeting the life size characters but he was so excited to see them!  He went right up to them and showed them the wire sculpture of the letter F he made (his favorite letter).  He couldn’t believe it was really them.

Then, later, as I was perusing the artwork, I recognized a voice and realized I was standing next to Cynthia Nixon (of Sex and the City fame) and her wife as we looked at the same picture.  How cool is that?

It’s days like these that make it impossible to leave NY.

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Bits of Happiness #25

I don’t think I’ve told anyone, but I’m going to be a warrior!!!!!!  I am teaming up with an amazing organization, Hidden Warriors, to tap into my inner goddess and become a warrior for a day.

Hidden Warriors mission is, “We are committed to increasing self-esteem in and empowering women who have been affected by cancer. Together, we create an experiential and transformative adventure which tap into the Hidden Warriors they already are. The Warrior Makeover Workshop model is achieving this goal!”

I will be spending the day with volunteer makeup artists, costume designers, occupational therapists, yoga instructors, photographers and other amazing cancer survivors.  I absolutely can’t wait.

Yesterday, I stopped by the studio of the mad who makes the head gear.  Darrell is a seriously talented artist and it was so hard to choose which head piece I was going to wear but after trying on a bunch, this one is the one that felt right to me.  What do you think?  Isn’t it amazing?


I’ll be transforming on April 3rd.  I’m not sure when I’ll get the photos but I can’t wait to show them to you.  In the meantime, here are some past photos they have done.  What do you think?

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Bits Of Happiness #24

I can’t believe the overwhelming response I have gotten to my last two posts about lymphedema.  Last night, I saw my post come up on Facebook as a “related link” and it said that it had been shared 754 times!!!!  And by tonight, close to 1000!!!!!  These posts, by far, have been the most read and commented on my blog.

This makes me thrilled because it helps me feel less alone.  Lymphedema can be so isolating; sometimes I feel like I am the only one to be going through such a horrific disease, even though I know I’m not.  Seeing all of the views, shares, comments and likes have made me feel less alone.  And I’m letting you all know about this because I hope it helps you feel the same way.  We are definitely not alone in this.

I encourage all of you to continue sharing your stories.  The more we share, the more we raise awareness about lymphedema.

Thank you all, a million times over.


My blog post, right over Kathy Bates!!! Hi, Kathy!!!!!


Bits of Happiness #23

I survived my first week back at work after my DIEP Flap.  It went pretty well.  All of the students that I was seeing previously were really happy to see me.  They all told me how much they missed me and loved having me back.  For the most part, they were really well behaved, too!  I wonder how long that will last?

The week wasn’t without incident.  I started a new residency.  The students in this class are fantastic!  We had a really great time and I think they will end up creating a fantastic piece of theatre by the time June rolls around.  But the principal of the school…well…I think she might be crazy.  She yelled at me because I was OVER-prepared!!!!!  The group I’m teaching are ELLs (English Language Learners) and I was told that their level was very low.  When I hear this, I prepare a lot of visuals with vocabulary words I will be using.  I got yelled at by the principal that they knew all of this stuff and shouldn’t be doing it.

I let her know that it was my first day and since I never met them, I was just trying to be prepared.  My mistake, obviously.  Next time, I won’t prepare anything and maybe that will be better!!!  (I lie, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing because what I did ending up being fucking awesome so take that stupid, crazy principal!!!)

But the long days and the commuting have really exhausted me.  I feel a little something like this.


At least I’ll sleep well tonight.